{Twin Mom Life}

There’s this cute Pinterest quote I read, “Sometimes Miracles come in Pairs,” and just like that, in the summer of 2018 our twin miracles were born. I thought our biggest challenge had been in the waiting for the boys or perhaps dealing with infertility treatments and costs, the specialists, how about fielding that dreaded question, “do you have/when are you going to start a family,” or even having a high risk pregnancy. I thought that was the tough part. To my surprise for me, it was light compared to actually becoming a parent – never-mind a parent of two at the same time!
 

I had just turned 36 years old when I had my babies at 35 weeks. Possibly, because I’m an older mom, one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced was the severe and instantaneous change to my perfectly neat and tidy convenient every-day life.  It’s hard to admit that, when you’ve yearned, prayed and cried to have a baby and then when you finally get to hold them in your arms, you’re conflicted with the severe contrast of two little people that you’d lay your life down for but who have also turned my perfectly “normal,” life upside down and inside out.


It started in the hospital where one baby was unexpectedly placed in NICU and by the time we were discharged, my eldest stayed behind. Juggling a new born is, well, new of course and juggling life with one at home and the other at hospital - this by far did not look like the Pinterest home-coming pics I’d hoped for. It was heartbreaking to say the least!

Navy Seals endure “a week” in their training called “hell week.” It consists of “five” days whereby candidate’s only sleep for about four hours in total but have to run over 300km’s and endure more than 20 hours of physical training a day. This is the best way I can describe the first few months of having new-born twins. My intention is not to scare the daylights out of you, because we all know the rewards of having these miracles far outweighs any of these challenges however my intention is to be real and give you a fair account of my journey!

Trying to adjust to two new little people who are solely dependent on you for, e-v-e-r-y-thing while figuring out how to breastfeed, express milk, burp, and 100 other things while still trying to establish that bond and implement and stick to a “routine…” all the while being severely sleep deprived.

I’ve found my own expectations and my romanticized ideas and notions of what a parent should look like – was a trap. I wish I could tell my pregnant self to scrap all my unrealistic pre-conceived expectations. I also blame social media, because the hours I spent scrolling looking up cute nursery ideas and twin-mom stuff – ugh! It made, parenthood “look like” this dreamy, snuggly cutesy fantasy…but all those filtered-snapshots were mere moments….NOT reality.  

"Parenthood is projectile vomit at some unearthly hour of the morning for the 3rd time and a full blown “poo-nami,” as you’re about to leave home for a big meeting, all over your carefully chosen out-fit."  

Parenthood is sibling bite-marks and hair-pulling, tantrums, bumps and bruises.  It’s not all pretty and I’m sorry to say, but in-between that are all those rare, but momentarily wonderful Instagrammable pics, there’s a hell-uva lot of mundane tasks – washing, sterilizing, changing, wiping, consoling, picking up, warming up, washing up, rocking and re-inserting the dummy for the 10th time…..only for you to do it all over again, and all that really just makes one want to realllllyyy just “adult” again. I personally think every parent deserves a gold medal for surviving those first few months! So if that’s you, you’re not alone!

Needless to say I thoroughly underestimated parenthood and it seriously kicked my cute little butt.  

The first year is barely a blur for me but, the boys are now a year and 4 months and as I type this and telepathically high-five my legend-of-a-husband – we all made it!

Heres my 2 cents to my pregnant self or anyone really, whose preggers with twinsies...
 

1. Don’t take your partner for granted. You’re a team. Without each other…gosh, I don’t even wanna consider it…. (All you single momma’s – you’re amazing!!)  Resolve that even at 3am, when you’re both tired and it’s been tough – speak to each other kindly, say something funny or extend a compliment…Parenthood pushes everyone to their limits and beyond, but you need him in your corner, together you’re stronger and you will rock this parent thing!!

2. Get out of the 4 walls of your home!  With twins a lot of logistics are involved – but I’m not saying leave the neighbourhood even, perhaps get your little cutie pies into a pram and push them up and down the driveway, around the complex, down the road and up again and down again…whatever and however much you can manage. The fresh air does you and your kiddos the world of good. Staying within the 4 walls of your house long term, is not good for your mind. It costs you nothing and the exercise releases those happy endorphins!

3. Preparation, preparation and more preparation. Do all you can ahead of the next feed/change etc. Put the water in the bottles, measure out the formula if you’re using formula. Don’t go for fancy bottles with little accessories….straight forward good brand bottle, go with that - all the bells and whistles are not going to wash themselves at 2am!

4. Put little baskets or cute boxes with fresh nappies and wipes and cream and sterilizer all over the house.

5. Doughnuts – no, not the scrumptious deep fried sweet pastry things – but those soft “mattress” type things you chuck on the couch/floor wherever you go and know baby(ies) are safe, clean and comfy! Buy two!

6. Basic, plastic feeding chairs – easy to clean and light to manoeuvre/transport. Again, don’t worry about all the fancy bells and whistles.

7. Take loads and loads of pictures. Your little love-bugs grow and change so fast and because you’re in the trenches you can’t always appreciate it (as much as you should stop and smell the roses it just isn’t always possible).

8. It’ll get different, things get better in some ways, not without their own set of new challenges but you learn, adapt and adjust.  

I’ve learned that through it all, we will survive this tough initial time, because just as our precious children are born, mothers and fathers are born too – we are still navigating this amazing new role as we all go along. No-ones got it all together, no matter what it seems like on the outside.


 

Tiger

for Perfect not Perfect

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