You know how it is when you first announce you’re having a baby... everyone totally smothers mum and dad is expected to do so too because she is the carrier of this precious human, and rightfully so……But fathers, you too play a monumental role as a dad and we fail more often than not, to celebrate you and put you on that pedestal you deserve to be on……except maybe on father’s day (insert hand on monkeys face emoji). So today in honor of you, I’m writing about YOU.
When my husband and i had our first child, our daughter Jennah, I never knew what to expect from him, but once she arrived, I was like I have no idea how I would “parent“ without him, which is why we had more kids and also why I have an immense amount of respect for single mums.
From the very first moment my kids were born, I realised that my husband and I did things fundamentally differently. Initially I thought, why couldn’t he just do things my way. I’m the mother, I carried this child for nine whole months…. well almost 😊, surely I know better and my way is better. NOT!!! I very quickly I had to learn and settle that we both approached parenting differently and we both had very different but EQUALLY important roles to play in raising our children.
Naturally as mums we have the incredible instinct to nurture our children while traditionally dads would be the protector and provider. I think the role of a dad has some what changed over time. I’ve watched this with my husband. They are so much more hands on, and the best part is they want to be. In my circle I’ve noticed that most dads don’t want to stand by and watch the mums do all the heavy lifting when it comes to raising kids, they want to be consulted and involved and I love that.
If you are a dad or soon to be dad hopefully this writeup resonates with you and/or helps you realise the all significant, valuable, appreciated and respected role you play as a DAD….
Obvs I can only speak from my own experience. We don’t always get it right, but our intention is to always try. I’ve found Logan’s role to be so key because he is good at the things I’m not good at and vice versa.
SECURITY - I remember growing up that’s what my dad was to me, my security blanket when I felt afraid or alone. I wanted to go everywhere with him because I felt safe with him. It didn’t mean I didn’t feel safe with my mum but with dad it was different. And now, I can also see how my daughter looks to her dad as her protector, He provides a sense of protection and security that I probably never could achieve.
ROLE MODEL – All my boys want to do is be like dad, dress like dad, walk like dad, talk like dad, even smell like him LOL. The older one zaps his perfumes every now and again too 😊. It’s been said many times that girls will accept traits of their dad when they search for a life partner because dads set the standard on how she will view other men and how she should be treated by them. This just goes to show that the responsibility on you dads to model well is huge.
PLAY – Dad plays differently with the kids. I don’t necessarily play rough…I don’t even know how to, and it freaks me out when Logan tosses them around and tickles them onto the floor into a laughing fit…. but kids need this!
SUPPORT – He is a constant pillar of strength to the entire family.
HANDS ON - Nappy changing, bottle feeding, bath, feeding and rocking to sleep, school runs, homework, talking through the difficult teenage years, attending sports days, shopping, etc in no uncertain terms help dads’ bond with their kids from day one into teenage and adult years. Logan has put his hand up many times for this and more and it’s been so welcomed by me because I know we are in this together.
I believe dads play a huge role in terms of SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, MORALS and ETHICS. My father set the pace for our spiritual belief system in our home and those beliefs have stuck, thank God they were good ones 😊…. I love that Logan does the same, he is the head of our home and he guides our family’s spiritual wellbeing, he is well connected to his source and thus has the ability to lead our family well. He brings a strong sense of leadership and firmness which is needed. He also knows how to apologise and admit when he is wrong 😊 That’s an important trait too!
Dads I could go on for sure, because there is so much you bring to the table in your role as a father…whether biologically or not…maybe you’ve adopted children or taken on the responsibility of being a father to children that otherwise may not have had one….To all of you …here’s a firm salute. Keep on keeping on! And if you’re a single mum having to fill these shoes..... here’s an even bigger salute to you!
“You are your sons first hero and your daughters first love” - Anonymous - Make your fatherhood journey one that leaves a great legacy!